Relationship Ruby: The Rules of Engagement

Learn How to Play the Game

There are many different kinds of relationships –  family, romantic interests, friendships, colleagues, business associates and acquaintances. Each one has it’s own rewards and benefits.

Relationships involve teamwork and like any game, it’s important to know the rules of engagement, especially if you want to build relationships in the film and television industry. The trick is to learn how to play without getting overly defensive or offensive so you can both come out as winners. I call it relationship rugby. The truth is that no matter how good a relationship is, sometimes you head into turbulent waters that rock the boat. So how do you handle those dicey moments without cutting the ties to an otherwise perfectly good relationship?

The first thing to realize is that any relationship can survive the rough bumps if you smooth things over. If you want a relationship to work, you need to work at it and relate to the other person. That means getting out of your head and into your heart.

10 Tips to Keep a Relationship on Track

Here are 10 tips to keep your relationship on track when it looks like you’re heading for a train wreck.

1. If a relationship needs repair, re-pair it. Since you are playing the enlightenment game, you may have be the one to take the initiative and take control of the steering wheel.

2. Don’t get stuck on yuck. Shake off the bad stuff and quickly move onto the good stuff.

3. Learn to listen without interrupting or judging. Giving someone the forum or opportunity to speak about what is not working goes a long way.

4. If a problem arises, don’t sweep it into the rug. Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean that it’s not there. You’ll eventually need to clean up the mess anyway. The longer you wait, the bigger the problem gets. So do it now. If something is not working, acknowledge it, take responsibility for what you can fix and then fix it.

5. Work together to find solutions. Teamwork often produces the best work and a joint effort is effortless.

6. Keep your promises. A broken promise leads to a broken heart.

7. Avoid speaking badly about someone when you disagree with them. When you bad mouth someone, it leaves a bad taste in everyone’s mouth.

8. Avoid blaming the other person. Nobody ever wins the blame game.  Sometimes taking the higher ground means putting yourself on equal footing.

9. Step back from a bad situation so you can clear your mind. A clear mind can clear up any misunderstanding.

10. Transform negative feelings and avoid emotional scars by focusing attention on the other person’s strengths, talents and positive contributions to the relationship. When you find something good about the other person and let them know about it, you both shift into a higher vibration.

copyright © 2009 by Beth Rosen. Beth is a #1 Best Selling author, filmmaker, screenwriter, actress, songwriter, attorney, healer and professor of yoga. For more information about Beth, please visit

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